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.:: WZW: FROM THE FEMALE TRAINEE PERSPECTIVE ::. |
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:: Article by Lexx :: Why did I want to get into this business? Now there's a question! I remember being sat at home when I was a child, bored out of my skull because my brother had ditched me to go play football. When he came back he sat me down to watch a video, the 5th Annual Survivor Series. I was impressed. Not just that but I was fixated. I doubt it was the action than caught my eye, just one man - Roddy Piper. When I watch it back now, I think I've seen better matches from Hot Rod, but I was 8 years old and the guy just stood out as a character. The more I watched, the more I wanted to be just like him. No retreat, no surrender. Some days I'm more like Piper than I like to be. He believes in "The Sickness" - a condition that wrestlers and wrestling fans are exposed to. It's the kind of sickness that pulls you in, and you'll never break free from. Death is your only retirement. A morbid theory, I agree, but it's a theory I very much believe in nevertheless, and a theory that scares the living hell out of me because I know I have it. From that afternoon with my brother, I knew I wanted to wrestle. It consumed me. I began to ignore my little so-called friends and their girly games in favour of practicing pile drivers on teddy bears and dreaming of the day when I - not Sensational Sherri - would be the one to accompany Shawn Michaels to the ring (though to this day I doubt I'd be big enough to carry his full length mirror!). I was living the dream as only a child could back then - through imagination. It's been a dream I kept to myself for a very long time. Not because I was female and such things were virtually non-existent in the business at the time. Come to think of it, I doubt I've ever really thought about my gender when it comes to wrestling. I kept it a secret because I wanted it for myself, something that was mine that nobody else would shoot down or laugh at. When asked what I wanted to do with my life I would shy away, give a little shrug and mumble "dunno". Of course as I got older and I reached that point in my life where I "had to decide" and so I settled for acting, taking Drama at college. It was more socially acceptable in the eyes of all those people I have become quite bitter towards, and as with many things I was forced to remain silent. Aside from my brother, I didn't know any wrestling fans. Acting wasn't all that bad, it gave me a chance to be someone else... but it wasn't enough. I didn't want to be somebody's mother, or a talking animal. I wanted to wrestle and threaten to wreak havoc and talk trash like my childhood hero. In truth, the characters I was told to play only made me more withdrawn and I sustained my biggest injury to date - a low blow to the self-esteem. I shut off from the outside world, but the sickness was still festering, mainly in the form of some VERY dodgy fan fiction and by chance an online friend told me about a training school which had just opened nearby. I went alone. It was scary, but very much worth it. That day changed my life. I took my first suplex and knew right there that this theory of Piper's was real. As wZw moved away from that school to set up their own, I went with them, and never looked back. They're my family, and no amount of thanks will ever be enough. I've had my ups and downs. I've found strengths, I've found weaknesses. I remember my first big match, I was supposed to be facing another female wrestler, who later pulled out. I was bricking it. I'd spent months training with men, I thought I'd become too brutal in my approach to matches and quite honestly feared for her safety. Although I was sad to lose this opponent, I was over-joyed to be fighting Iain Robinson. Alas, I got injured. It sucked. For a long time. Let's not go there. This is where I return to the subject of gender and wrestling. I have never thought about myself as a female wrestler. I'm not entirely sure why that is. I've guess I've just always seen myself as a wrestler, gender doesn't come into it. Male, female... if they have something to throw at me, I'll throw it right back. Doesn't matter to me, we're all equal. Unfortunately a lot of people in this business still don't think so. I can't say it has bothered me much until recently. I read a post on a forum in which someone complained about a woman holding a Cruiserweight title. I ask you what's wrong with that? I wonder why there needs to be a Women's Title? Is there a Men's Title? No, they get a colourful choice ranging from Cruiserweight to Heavyweight with everything in between. And why must singles a match between two women be referred to as a Women's Match? It makes it sound like a special stipulation in itself. There's no such thing as a "Men's Match"... and here comes the lowest blow, Women's Wrestling. Why must we be pushed into our own little category, as if what we do is any different to the men? Why are we frowned upon when we want to break free from that and fight with the manly men in tights? I don't want Women's gold if that's all there is... I want all I can qualify for, and where is it written that a Cruiserweight Champion must be male, or that a champion of eXtreme Hardcore must put HIS body on the line? The answer is nowhere. Y'know, Chyna was onto something... I'll finish up this strange little insight and say that I'm going to embrace this "sickness" and push it to its limits. Word to the un-informed, to Lexx the WWE does not = desire. That has led to much criticism over recent months. If you actually read my last paragraph then you might realise why. I have no idea where I'm headed, I do not plan for the future. I'll let it ride and go wherever it takes me.
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